The Challenges of Being a Mum - Rediscovering Joy in Motherhood

Motherhood is often spoken about as this magical, love-filled journey – and of course, there are plenty of moments like that. But it can also feel heavy, overwhelming, and downright exhausting. Some days, the challenges seem to shout louder than the joy, and it’s easy to wonder if you’re doing something wrong. You’re not. Many mums feel the same way.

So how do we find our way back to joy when the tough bits of motherhood feel like they’re taking over?

The Real Challenges of Being a Mum

The truth is, motherhood isn’t always the blissful picture painted on Instagram. It’s real life – messy, tiring, and full of pressure. From sleepless nights to juggling work and family, to that constant feeling of “am I doing enough?” – it can take its toll.

Some of the most common struggles mums talk about include:

• Sleep deprivation – nights broken by newborn cries or toddler wake-ups leave you running on empty.

• Loss of personal time – your hobbies, social life, and even a quiet cup of tea often fall by the wayside.

• Emotional ups and downs – hormones, stress, and sheer tiredness can make moods unpredictable.

• Pressure to be perfect – whether it’s from society, social media, or your own expectations, it can feel like you’re always falling short.

  
  

Feeling stressed, overwhelmed, or even questioning your happiness doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re human.

Practical Ways to Reconnect with Joy

Joy doesn’t always arrive in big, magical moments – more often, it’s in the little things. Here are some gentle ways to bring it back into your day-to-day:

1. Prioritise Self-Care

It’s not selfish, it’s survival. Even small acts – a bath, a walk, ten minutes with a book – can top up your energy and lift your mood.

• Carve out tiny pockets of “me time” each day.

• Ask for help so you can rest or recharge.

• Try mindfulness, breathing exercises, or whatever helps you slow down.

  
  

2. Let Go of Perfection

Motherhood isn’t meant to be perfect. Messy days are part of the deal.

• Notice the small wins (like getting through breakfast without chaos).

• Celebrate progress, not perfection.

• Try not to compare yourself to others – especially those polished social media snapshots.

3. Build Your Village

Connection makes everything lighter.

• Join a local baby group or online mum community.

• Talk honestly with friends or family you trust.

• Reach out for professional support if you’re struggling.

  
  

4. Make Space for What Brings You Joy

Your happiness matters.

• Rediscover hobbies you love – whether that’s painting, baking, or getting outdoors.

• Move your body in a way that feels good.

• Spend time with your little one in ways that feel fun, not just 'routine.'

The Idea of ‘Good Enough’ Parenting

There’s a lot of pressure on mums to be perfect – to always say the right thing, do the right thing, respond in exactly the right way. The truth is, no one can parent like that 100% of the time, and children don’t need us to.

What they need is a parent who shows up most of the time, who comforts them when they’re hurt, who makes them feel safe and loved. The occasional stressed-out snap, the takeaway dinners, the moments when you just need five minutes’ peace – those don’t undo all the good.

“Good enough” parenting means accepting that it’s okay to make mistakes, to feel overwhelmed, to not have all the answers. What matters is the bigger picture: that your child knows they are cared for.

Instead of measuring yourself against perfection, try noticing the moments when you are present, when you do connect, when you do show your child they matter. Those are the moments that count most.

When Joy Feels Out of Reach

It’s normal to have tough days. But if you notice that most days feel joyless, or if you’re feeling persistently low, anxious, or disconnected, it might be time to reach out for support.

Signs you might need a little extra help include:

• Feeling overwhelmed most of the time

• Not enjoying things you once loved

• Struggling to bond with your baby

• Ongoing exhaustion or sleeplessness

• Distressing thoughts about yourself or your child

If any of this feels familiar, please know you don’t have to carry it alone. Talk to your GP or health visitor, look into counselling, or join a mum support group. Asking for help isn’t weakness – it’s an act of strength.

Finding Joy in the Everyday

Motherhood isn’t about big, picture-perfect milestones (though those are lovely too). More often, joy is tucked into the everyday moments: a bedtime cuddle, a toddler’s laugh, a shared smile over something silly.

Try:

• Celebrating milestones – big or small.

• Creating rituals – like family mealtimes or bedtime stories.

• Practising gratitude – noticing one or two things each day that made you smile.

• Staying present – giving yourself permission to just be in the moment.

  
  

Motherhood will always have its ups and downs, but by softening your expectations and noticing the little sparks of joy, it becomes easier to rediscover why this journey, though tough, is also so precious.

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Joanne Flatt

Psychotherapeutic Counsellor MNCPS (Acc.)

I’m Joanne Flatt, a counsellor and hypnotherapist supporting people through pregnancy, birth and parenthood. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, pressured to “get it right,” like you’ve lost a bit of yourself, or if you’re feeling persistently low, anxious, or disconnected therapy can give you space to be real and find your balance again. If you would like to talk about how therapy may be able to help you please get in touch here.